The Beauty of Life: A Bittersweet Thanksgiving

Baby Kersey

My baby cousin Kersey was born on Tuesday November 22 at 24 weeks weighing 1 lb. 3 oz.  On Thanksgiving Day, I had the privilege of going back into the NICU with my sister, aunt, and cousin and meeting Kersey for the first and only time. A glory moment. As I gathered with my family on that day and then seeing Kersey's tiny frame, I was overwhelmed by the incredible gift that life really is and the shortness of our time in living it.

Kersey passed away last night after not even six days of life. And it's so tempting to look up to heaven and ask Why? When I got the call at midnight last night, I went into my living room and opened up the Word of God to listen to Him speak, remembering that His ways are so much higher than our own. No tangible answers, but these are the things He showed me in those quiet moments.

Her back, size comparison with the syringe in front

Psalm 139:16 "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." When I saw baby Kersey in the NICU and the fight that she gave along with so many others including her mother that she might live, I was in awe. Life is valuable and precious. Kersey's life was valuable and purpose-filled. The days that were formed for her and ordained for her by God only numbered a few, but they were a priceless gift from God. Though she passed on, the value placed on her life is unmeasured because she bore the spark of the divine. She was created and fashioned in the image of God. And her life meant something.


Psalm 31:14-15 "But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hand;"  Life is something over which I have no control, but my times are in the hands of a good and loving God. And as much as it hurts me that I am not with my family right now in this time of grief, Comforter is one of the names by which we know God. Not only that but Healer and Restorer of broken hearts. Sometimes, we think it would have been easier if we had never had to go through the pain. But times like these are what makes for an abundant life. Having Kersey with us and the joy and pain that she brought with her life only point to the deeper love of the Father and trusting in his all-encompassing purposes in the midst of the pain. We only see in part. He knows in full, and His plan has a deeper purpose than what we now see. And it is good. Because He is good and He is love.

Matthew 18. "At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, 'Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me... See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven...So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish."

God is in the business of caring for and honoring those who are unable to care for themselves. His call is for the humble, the needy, those who cannot speak for themselves, and Jesus had a special place for children. Kersey's mother, my cousin Julie, was on bed rest for 5 weeks to allow Kersey 5 full days of life after birth. I believe the sacrifice was more than worth it. And the picture it shows me is that of a man who gave up the comforts of his heavenly dwelling and followed the hard road that he could die on a cross. He didn't have to-- there's nothing in us that should really make Him want to...we contribute nothing in our helplessness-- but He did. He suffered and died and overcame...That He could give us life. The gift of life is beautiful, no matter how long or short.

The bitter sweetness of thanksgiving. I am thankful for the family I have. The craziness that we are and the love we share: these people are valuable to me. I am thankful for the time we had with her.

For the time that she was here, she made a difference in my life. And we will remember her for the rest of ours. This side of Heaven, we may never know why. But I trust the One who does. All things come to an end, and seasons come and go, but there is One who remains, and we await the day when He will wipe away the tears from our eyes.