Learning to Live in Today

"For I know that this for me will turn out resulting in deliverance because of your prayers and provision of the spirit of Jesus Christ according to my eager expectation and my hope that in nothing will I be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always even now, Christ will be magnified by my body whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if to live in the flesh, this to me is fruitful for labor, yet which shall I choose, I do not know." Philippians 1:19-22

At the end of Philippians 1, it's interesting how Paul speaks of his life and his death in positive anticipation. It's as though he's trying to choose between two equally wonderful desserts: brownie a la mode or praline cheesecake.  Looking at it from a less gospel-centered perspective, his two options seem really not as good. He can either remain alive and in prison or he will die. But Paul sees the world through gospel-shaded glasses. His own self-devoted life has faded away into a passionate pursuit of the gospel. To continue living is Christ with love abounding more and more with knowledge and discernment. Yet to die is far greater gain.

Though I may not be at the threshhold of death as Paul was, I think we do constantly face the choice of how we choose to live. Do I see every circumstance that comes my way as an opportunity for the gospel to shine through? Do I see every day, every moment, as "Christ"? To live is Christ.

Life consists of seasons. Seasons of fun, seasons of hard work, seasons of pain, seasons of challenge, just to name a few. Sometimes God brings us to one season of life in His sovereign purpose, yet we try our darndest to get out of that season and into one that seems, on the outside, to be more comfortable, more enjoyable, more exactly what we think we want. And we miss out on what God wanted us to see in the season to which he had brought us. God brings us to different seasons, and there is a time to laugh and a time to cry. Each season has its purpose, and God has designed us to experience life to its fullness with all of the joy and the pain.
Paul was spending a season in prison, and while throughout Philippians we do see him praying for his release and urging others to pray for his release, we also see his contentment with his situation knowing that this was the place to which God had brought him and God has a reason for this place of ministry where He was...and he was in a ministry position whether he saw it as such or not. I'm sure he felt limited and probably sometimes useless wondering what his purpose was in this particular location. But we do not see as God sees.

In the past, many times, I have chosen not to see the world with gospel-shaded glasses. Instead, I've looked around me and thought to myself, "if only I had this, then I'd be happy, then people wouldn't bother me, then I wouldn't have any problems." I've seen myself and my comfort as the ultimate end to which everything and everyone else in the world must bow down. And so, sitting down with the people to whom God has brought me and the work to which he has called me, I've lifted my eyes and lusted for more, for something else, not seeing my current situation as "to live is Christ."

Over the past several months, God has been changing my attitude about these things as I've begun to see each place where God has brought me and each person to whom God has brought me as an opportunity for the gospel. Seasons change. We pass from a season of pain to a season of joy in the blink of an eye realizing that this is only a gift of God. Yet the season of pain was also a gift. May we never forget the joys found in the sorrows...still knowing that at the heart of joy is sorrow. Joy is because sorrow was. We cannot hold onto the joyful moments as though we live only for times of fun. But in the midst of God-given pleasure, we look to the cross, knowing that still the deepest longings of our soul are only satisfied there by the precious blood of the lamb slain for our sins.  The Lamb who traveled the painful way, the Via Dolorosa, toward the joy set before him. There is abundant joy in life, but we only know that joy when we know the truth of the cross.

A friend of mine has lent me a book by Horatius Bonar which speaks of the gospel: "In the cross there is salvation- no where else. No failure of this world's hopes can quench the hope which it reveals. It shines brightest in the evil day. In the day of darkening prospects, of thickening sorrows, of heavy burdens, of pressing cares- when friends depart, when riches fly away, when disease oppresses us, when poverty knocks at our door- then the cross shines out, and tells us of a light beyond the world's darkness, the Light of him who is the light of the world."

Life is filled with change, waves, seasons, the passing of time. Each is something to be enjoyed and thankful for as a gift from God, but we cannot go back. We cannot re-create those moments that brought so much joy to our lives in the past, and we don't exactly desire those moments that brought so much pain. But I am grateful for every moment. And I can see the shadow of the cross in every moment. Every person that we meet each day needs to be reminded of the cross. I need to be reminded of the cross and the truth that He who began a good work in me is carrying it on to completion. And He will be victorious.