Encountering the Female Mind

I have been plagued by the fact that I am a woman, and sometimes I am an emotional mess. How did we get to be so complicated? I love the fact of my femininity and I wouldn't trade places with a guy, but I can understand why guys don't understand us. I don't understand us.

But that's who we are. Yes, I sometimes cry at the drop of a hat. I remember getting up early in the morning and going to the deer stand to hunt deer, and on my way there I ran over a squirrel. I cried the entire rest of the drive to my deer stand. It's not logical, but who ever said we could be logical. Emotions often drive us, and sometimes we have little power to understand what the heck those emotions mean.

I have been encountering my emotional instability very clearly in the past few months. It has led me to see some things about myself that I would have preferred to overlook for the remainder of my earthly days, but as I try to understand and discover these emotions and feelings that I experience from time to time, I begin to encounter who I am as a child of God, and in the midst of the desires and emotions that come my way, I begin to see Him a little more clearly as my one source of stability in an unstable world.

So where is all this coming from? Well, lately I've been realizing that I have a deep desire to be loved and accepted and appreciated. I've begun to experience those deep and sometimes overwhelming desires to have a husband and a family that I can take care of. Dealing with these desires is so often a struggle because I am surrounded by beautiful families here on this campus and people who have some kind of physical stability in the form of a spouse or family or significant other. I know that the Lord has placed these desires in me because I am a woman and that is how I was created to be. I was created to love and be loved. It is a deep desire that we all have in some form.

But as I have been going through this confusing range of emotions, I've come to realize the meaning of contentment. No, I haven't reached perfect contentment yet, but it is something that God has put into my grasp and as I continue to be satisfied with the Lord's preservation of my life, I believe he will lead me to a place of contentment with being single. Then, as Francine says, any addition to my life in the form of a significant other will just be icing on the cake.